Appreciate what you shared here A! Many angles to respond to...First the grief, the ways of our world can be overwhelming. Many times I have to pull back, rest, read, walk in nature, do anything that is nurturing. It is a fine line between feeling the grief and getting lost in it. Feeling it, I sense that I am offering something to the world, Getting lost in it, I am harming myself. It is a deep practice in self-care.
Second, as I find myself aging I feel the population at large goes on as it death is never going to happen.. As you said, "we're all dying." Hmmm maybe it is more the fear of death that drives it, it could be both. I am concerned by the way aging and dying is hidden away. How getting older means someone no longer has value. I am doing my own work around this and sharing about it as I can. For I am finding the ancient ways of eldering and the grandmothers are needed right now more than ever.
Thirdly, can we just support each other? I so hear you around this. It does not need to be complicated. I find it only takes listening and paying attention, making the choice to care. We are interrelated and interdependent after all.
Thank you for your thoughtful response, Julie! Yes, it absolutely is necessary self care to navigate that grief in a way that's sustainable. I'm still working on this myself.
I absolutely agree that death and aging are both often ignored as much as possible, and I do think it stems from fear. I appreciate the work you're doing around aging. I think women, especially, tend to become almost invisible as they age in our society, which is a great loss for us all.
It’s a hard balance between knowing enough and knowing too much. I’ve had to turn off news and stop reading so much about difficult current events because a) my anxiety around them isn’t actually helping anyone, least of all me, and b) I want to focus more on what’s happening closer to home that I can ACTUALLY participate in.
I’ve definitely donated money to those who are helping in wars and natural disasters, but then I have to turn it off. Otherwise I simply end up in a state of overwhelm and freeze and really don’t do anything helpful anyway.
For most of human history, they didn’t have the same access to what was happening beyond their communities like we do today; I wonder if there’s a balance and boundary in there.
Oh, absolutely! I've had to draw a firm boundary for myself with social media, for example. The second I start seeing videos I close it out; they're more traumatic than helpful for me. I think that it's necessary to care for ourselves so that we can care for others, and I definitely didn't mean to imply that people should be making themselves sick watching the news. As you mentioned, there are practical ways to help with (or at least not actively hinder) these issues, and that's what I'm meaning in this post. For instances like war and disability like I mentioned, we can contact representatives, make donations, wear masks, focus on community care and local government, even.
What's most frustrating and disheartening for me isn't the people who are a bit complacent or burnt out, it's the ones who are actively against taking measures that help others and prevent suffering - especially when I know how easy it is for them to end up in a situation where they could use the same compassion and accommodations that they would intentionally withhold from others. Having justice sensitivity in a world that is so full of harm and hate is really hard.
I think I’m always afraid that I’m perceived as not doing enough, not knowing enough, not caring enough, and so my response seems to reflect that fear.
But what I’m hearing is that you’re more trying to point out that there are some folks who could make accommodations and changes for others that actively choose not to, not realizing that they could find themselves on the other side very quickly. Am I understanding better?
I do think that some people need to have those life-altering experiences to develop empathy for those who have disadvantages they don’t understand, to realize that people don’t choose their disabilities.
Yes, that's what I meant! I wasn't trying to shame anyone at all, just sharing my frustration at how easy it seems to be for many to be completely unaware of how they're harming others and, potentially, even themselves.
I have that same fear, honestly. And now I'm a bit worried I wasn't clear enough. 😅
I mean, we all read things through our own lens, and we can never be perfectly clear to everyone. Like I said, I was reading through the lens of my fear of not doing enough, and you couldn’t have changed that for me
Appreciate what you shared here A! Many angles to respond to...First the grief, the ways of our world can be overwhelming. Many times I have to pull back, rest, read, walk in nature, do anything that is nurturing. It is a fine line between feeling the grief and getting lost in it. Feeling it, I sense that I am offering something to the world, Getting lost in it, I am harming myself. It is a deep practice in self-care.
Second, as I find myself aging I feel the population at large goes on as it death is never going to happen.. As you said, "we're all dying." Hmmm maybe it is more the fear of death that drives it, it could be both. I am concerned by the way aging and dying is hidden away. How getting older means someone no longer has value. I am doing my own work around this and sharing about it as I can. For I am finding the ancient ways of eldering and the grandmothers are needed right now more than ever.
Thirdly, can we just support each other? I so hear you around this. It does not need to be complicated. I find it only takes listening and paying attention, making the choice to care. We are interrelated and interdependent after all.
Thank you for your thoughtful response, Julie! Yes, it absolutely is necessary self care to navigate that grief in a way that's sustainable. I'm still working on this myself.
I absolutely agree that death and aging are both often ignored as much as possible, and I do think it stems from fear. I appreciate the work you're doing around aging. I think women, especially, tend to become almost invisible as they age in our society, which is a great loss for us all.
It’s a hard balance between knowing enough and knowing too much. I’ve had to turn off news and stop reading so much about difficult current events because a) my anxiety around them isn’t actually helping anyone, least of all me, and b) I want to focus more on what’s happening closer to home that I can ACTUALLY participate in.
I’ve definitely donated money to those who are helping in wars and natural disasters, but then I have to turn it off. Otherwise I simply end up in a state of overwhelm and freeze and really don’t do anything helpful anyway.
For most of human history, they didn’t have the same access to what was happening beyond their communities like we do today; I wonder if there’s a balance and boundary in there.
Oh, absolutely! I've had to draw a firm boundary for myself with social media, for example. The second I start seeing videos I close it out; they're more traumatic than helpful for me. I think that it's necessary to care for ourselves so that we can care for others, and I definitely didn't mean to imply that people should be making themselves sick watching the news. As you mentioned, there are practical ways to help with (or at least not actively hinder) these issues, and that's what I'm meaning in this post. For instances like war and disability like I mentioned, we can contact representatives, make donations, wear masks, focus on community care and local government, even.
What's most frustrating and disheartening for me isn't the people who are a bit complacent or burnt out, it's the ones who are actively against taking measures that help others and prevent suffering - especially when I know how easy it is for them to end up in a situation where they could use the same compassion and accommodations that they would intentionally withhold from others. Having justice sensitivity in a world that is so full of harm and hate is really hard.
I think I’m always afraid that I’m perceived as not doing enough, not knowing enough, not caring enough, and so my response seems to reflect that fear.
But what I’m hearing is that you’re more trying to point out that there are some folks who could make accommodations and changes for others that actively choose not to, not realizing that they could find themselves on the other side very quickly. Am I understanding better?
I do think that some people need to have those life-altering experiences to develop empathy for those who have disadvantages they don’t understand, to realize that people don’t choose their disabilities.
Yes, that's what I meant! I wasn't trying to shame anyone at all, just sharing my frustration at how easy it seems to be for many to be completely unaware of how they're harming others and, potentially, even themselves.
I have that same fear, honestly. And now I'm a bit worried I wasn't clear enough. 😅
I mean, we all read things through our own lens, and we can never be perfectly clear to everyone. Like I said, I was reading through the lens of my fear of not doing enough, and you couldn’t have changed that for me
That's true and also so frustrating because I absolutely do want to be able to change that🤣 (for everyone)
Perhaps that’s where conversation is so important though, because in this dialogue, we have come to a mutual understanding :)